


Cutting the Cord

by casbuddy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Child Abuse, Emetophobia, Homophobia, John Finds Out, M/M, Mentions of alcoholism, Parental Abuse, Paternal Bobby Singer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casbuddy/pseuds/casbuddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John finds out about Dean and Castiel... It doesn't end well</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cutting the Cord

**Author's Note:**

> Initial prompt by [bold-sartorial-statement](http://bold-sartorial-statement.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.  
> Please heed the warnings in the tags!

As soon as they’re through the front door, Dean is attacking Cas’ mouth with his own, slamming Cas back against the door to make it shut behind them. Cas is just as responsive, pulling Dean close to him by the belt loops of his jeans.

“I like it when we have the house to ourselves,” Cas tells him, kissing Dean long and hard on the mouth. It’s not often they get to do this. Sam is normally at home and while his little brother knows all about his relationship with Cas, it’s not like he’s going to be okay with them going upstairs and doing it like rabbits while he’s in the house. And sometimes, though it’s slowly getting rarer and rarer, Dean’s dad is at home after school instead of at the nearest bar, which makes it pretty much impossible for Cas to come around at all.

“Mmm,” Dean hums appreciatively when Cas’ mouth wanders to peck kisses along Dean’s cheekbone, “Me too.”

“So,” Castiel nips at Dean’s jaw, “Movie and pizza first, or bed?” he raises an eyebrow, already knowing the answer to that question.

“Bed,” Dean murmurs with a grin, already out of breath at the sheer idea of what they’re about to do, “Let’s work up an appetite.”

With a matching grin and laugh, Cas grabs Dean by the hand and drags him upstairs, stopping every few seconds to make their lips swollen and bruised by each other’s mouths. They’re hurried and eager, desperate to get it started, but it soon settles into something slower and more intimate by the time they’re entwined with each other on Dean’s bed, murmuring soft things into each other’s ears as the other gasps, a giggle or two even coming out when one of them says something dumb. Each time they get to do this in a bed- rather than in the back of Dean’s car in the middle of nowhere- they savour it. It happens so seldom now, they _have_ to cherish it. Even buttoning clothes and walking downstairs is a struggle for them, making it last as long as possible, hand in hand.

“So,” Dean pulls Cas close to him by their joint hands to press a lingering kiss on his lips, “I’ll order the pizza, you set up the movie.”

“Okay,” Castiel agrees with a warm smile, stealing one more kiss from Dean. He drops his shoes next to the front door before he makes his way to the sitting room. Dean lets himself take a moment to appreciate his boyfriend’s ass and only then does he ring up the pizza place, already knowing which topping is Cas’ favourite. Once the phone call has ended, he goes into the kitchen and grabs a set of drinks for the two of them, jumping slightly when familiar arms settle around his waist.

“Hey you,” Dean smiles, leaning back into Cas’ embrace.

“The movie’s ready to go,” Cas says, nuzzling behind Dean’s ear.

“Okay, the guy on the phone said the pizza would be about twenty minutes,” he turns around in Cas’ arms so they’re face to face, “We should be able to fit the whole movie in before Sammy gets back from his friend’s house.”

“Okay,” Cas pecks Dean on the mouth.

“Okay,” Dean agrees with a grin.

“And your dad’s not back until tomorrow?” Cas reaffirms.

“Yeah,” Dean nods. His dad had once been a sore spot between the two of them when they’d first starting doing this; the fear of his father’s reaction to it all had actually caused Dean to take an incredibly long time to even be _okay_ with being with Cas. It had taken even longer for Dean to be okay with walking hand in hand with Cas in public, but only when he knows that his dad won’t be around to see it. He has no qualms about being a couple with Cas at school, he has no worries there, his dad doesn’t talk to any of the teachers or other parents to find out anyway. At first, Cas had been bothered by it, but he’d soon come to understand what Dean’s dad is like and how it’s best that he didn’t find out, especially when Dean is still living under the same roof as him.

“Let’s go watch the movie,” Cas suggests, giving Dean one more kiss before he leads them into the sitting room. They manage to watch about fifteen minutes of the film before the doorbell rings and Dean has to force himself out of Cas’ arms to hand over the money in exchange for the piping hot pizza.

Once the pizza is all eaten, they go back to half watching the movie, half making out. Dean’s back is pressed tightly against Cas’ chest so it makes Dean have to twist his head into awkward angles to press his lips to Cas, but it’s worth it to be enclosed in Cas’ arms. They’re nearing to the end of the movie when the front door opens and slams shut.

“Sam must have finished early,” Dean mumbles against Cas’ mouth, pecking him on the mouth before he shouts, “Hey Sammy, we’re in here!”

Cas winces at the loud noise but he doesn’t complain, only presses a kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth and waits for Dean to respond by kissing him back. Eyes still closed, Dean burrows into Cas’ chest, smiling softly at how Cas is petting the back of his head. The hand freezes though, making Dean frown.

“Dean,” Cas says tightly.

“Mm?” Dean mumbles back.

“Dean,” Cas repeats, more insistent this time, hands around Dean tightening protectively for some reason that Dean can’t understand.

Wondering what the hell is going on, Dean opens his eyes blearily to find his father standing stock still in the doorway. Straight away, he scrambles out of Cas’ arms, forcing himself to stand. Dean sees from the corner of his eyes that Cas stays where he is, though he twists around so his legs are off the couch.

“Dad,” Dean says, throat tight. His father stays where he is, an unreadable expression on his face as he stares at Dean. The first thing Dean notices is that John isn’t drunk, that might go into his favour here. Or maybe it won’t and it will make it even worse, Dean doesn’t even _know_ anymore.

When his dad still doesn’t say anything, Dean swallows, feeling ready to throw up, “Dad, this is-“ he gulps, not taking his eyes from his father as he gestures towards his boyfriend, “Cas.”

At the sentence, his father finally reacts, eyes widening as he listens to Dean. His jaw clenches, gaze never looking from Dean’s as he growls, “I don’t give a damn who he is, I want him out.”

It’s the reaction that Dean had always expected, his father to resent him for this, to not want Dean to be doing this, to _stop_ Dean from doing this.

“Dad,” Dean forces himself to say, desperate to try and salvage the situation, to make his father _see,_ “Please listen,” his throat clenches and again, he feels like he’s about to vomit, “Please,” he begs, taking a step towards his dad, unsurprised to find that his hands are trembling.

John ignores him and points at where Cas is frozen on the couch, “You,” he jabs his finger, “Get the hell out of my house,” his other hand clenches into a fist and even a few metres away, Dean can spot the angry spittle spraying from his mouth.

Dean turns away and looks at Cas, not knowing whether he wants Cas to stay with him or not. A part of him wants to scream at Cas to leave, to get him away to safety away from his dad, but the selfish part of him wants Cas to stay so Dean won’t have to deal with this alone, so he’ll have someone else with him who can try and make his father understand.

“Dean,” Cas starts to say, shaking his head, “I don’t-“ Dean can hear what the finished sentence would be, that Cas doesn’t want to leave Dean alone with his own father. And isn’t that fucking terrible? That his boyfriend doesn’t think it would be wise to leave him with the person who’s supposed to make him okay?

Dean doesn’t blame him for it though, not at all. He hasn’t saw his father this angry in a long time; when John normally gets angry, he gets loud and throws things, mostly when he’s drunk. This level of anger, the quiet, controlled voice, the way his jaw is clenching tight, how his whole body is tightly strung and ready to pounce- this level of anger, Dean hasn’t saw him like this, not since their mother died and he only just remembers what that had been like.

“I said,” John pushes Dean aside to get to Cas, “Get the hell out,” he grabs Cas by the neck of his t-shirt, pulling him up to stand and Dean gets there just in time for when John raises his other hand that’s curling into a fist.

“Get the fuck off him!” Dean screams, pushing at his father with every strength he has. He’s not going to let him hurt Cas, not _ever._ And if Dean has to shove himself between them and get punched himself, he’s going to do it.

John seems surprised that Dean is defending Cas and his eyes flicker at the way Dean has reached behind himself to grab a hold of Cas’ wrist, silently signalling to him that he’s going to keep him safe. The gesture just makes his dad angrier and he stomps back to Dean and Cas, pushing his face close to Dean threateningly, “Why should I? He’s put thoughts in your head,” his narrowed, _terrifying_ eyes glance behind Dean’s shoulder to look at Cas, “Made you think this was okay.”

Here, Dean can quite easily change this whole thing, agree with his father and make him think that he was brainwashed. Then everything can go back to normal, his father won’t hate him. But he’d lose Cas. And Dean isn’t, not ever, going to lose Cas, especially like this. Besides, Dean is tired of hiding, of fighting all of this. He _loves_ Cas and he isn’t going to treat him like a sordid secret to his father anymore. He can’t keep on doing this for the rest of his damn life, letting his father control him and twist his words and actions.

“He didn’t force me to do anything,” Dean tells him with as steady a voice he can manage right now, “I’ve got my own mind.”

The answer seems to surprise his father, enough for him to take a step back away from Dean. He opens his mouth and takes one long breath out before he says, voice oddly calm and final, “Then you’re as disgusting as he is.”

Dean knows its simple words, but he feels it like it was a real life blow all the same. He feels Cas place a hand at the small of his back to steady him and Dean leans back into the tiny comfort, wishing right now he could be in Cas’ arms somewhere far, _far_ away from here, somewhere safe and warm, anywhere but here.

“I want you out of my house now,” John says, voice terrifyingly low and firm.

Tears starts to prickle in Dean’s eyes but he forces himself to take a step forward to his father, “Because you saw me kissing a boy?” he asks softly, because that’s all he’s done. He’s quite simply fallen in love with a boy and his father is going to punish him for that, punish him for something so little and benign as Dean being in love?

Hearing the words aloud makes John even angrier and his hands shake when he demands, “You shut your fucking mouth.”

Cas has been silent for the conversation, probably because he doesn’t know whether he should speak or let Dean deal with this situation alone and instead, just be someone who’s there for quiet moral support for Dean. But John shouting that at Dean seems to flip a switch in Cas and he says, voice quiet but firm, “Don’t talk to him like that.”

John laughs, and it’s a horrible laugh, the worst laugh that can come from those lips, “You have no say as to how I talk to my own damn son! And why the fuck are you still in my house anyway?”

“Stop it,” Dean murmurs, voice raising when he repeats it, though his throat is thick and his eyes are threatening to release tears, “Just stop it!”

John seems to have another thought, “Is Sam here?”

Dean shakes his head; it’s the one thing he’s happy about, that Sam doesn’t have to see this car crash of a conversation, have to see John be this frightening. Dean has always made sure that Sam didn’t see the worse of their father. When he came home drunk, Dean would quietly grab Sam and take him to Bobby’s and make sure that Sam didn’t see their dad passed out on the couch. If his dad wasn’t drunk, just angry and putting a horrid, strangling feel to the house, Dean would again take Sam somewhere else to take his mind off it all. Dean’s first thought was always to protect his little brother at all costs and sometimes that sadly included protecting him from his father.

“Have you been doing this,” John gestures to Cas with disgust, “in front of Sam?” when Dean doesn’t say anything, he carries on talking, “You have, haven’t you? Making him think this is okay and that he should be doing it himself?”

Bringing Sam into this makes Dean bristle, tears turning into anger. The thought of his father reacting this way if Sam, even though he’s never offered any interest to boys, came home with a boy makes Dean’s hands shake. His dad can say and do anything he fucking wants to to Dean, but no way is he saying _anything_ to Sam.

Dean takes a step forward into his father’s space, voice loud now, and so fucking done with _everything,_ “Oh yeah,” he snaps, “Because being near a gay guy automatically makes you want to get a dick in your ass, that’s exactly how it fucking works. And you know what-“ he carries on talking, though he can see that his father is losing it, but he needs to finish his speech, needs to step up and not back down because this is important, “why the _fuck_ would it matter if Sam wanted that- to be with-“

His speech is cut off when a fist collides with his cheek, smashing hard into the skin and scraping against his eye as he falls. Hands reach out to grab him but Cas isn’t quick enough and Dean bashes into the coffee table, ribs ramming against the wood.

Dean doesn’t look up, he keeps his gaze on the carpet as he tries to understand what’s just happened. His brain is mush, he doesn’t know how to react, to deal with this. His father has never hit him before and he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that that’s changed now, that the reason he’s on the floor with a slowly developing bruise on his cheek is because of his father.

“Dean?” a voice calls out to him softly and Dean latches onto it because it’s Cas, and Cas will make things better, he’ll fix this somehow, “Dean?” a hand cups his jaw and Dean leans into it, “Look at me.”

Dean swallows, unsure of whether he can look Cas in the eye just now but when Cas’ thumb swipes across his unhurt cheek, it gives Dean the courage to look up to Cas’ worried eyes.

“Okay, okay,” Cas murmurs, perhaps to himself as he wraps a tentative, but strong, arm around Dean’s waist and pulls him up to his feet. Dumbly, Dean follows Cas’ lead and leans into him, placing most of his weight on his boyfriend, unsure of whether he could be standing right now if it weren’t for him.

Cas starts to walk, gently guiding Dean alongside him. Dean doesn’t know why but they come to a stop after a few footsteps and Dean leans into Cas’ side, resting his head a little on Cas’ shoulder. Cas fumbles a little, keeping one arm locked around Dean’s waist, while the other cups the back of Dean’s head, keeping him steady. It’s only when Cas starts speaking that Dean realises why they’ve stopped, John is in the way and he needs to move else they’re going to be stuck with him. And oh god, Dean can’t be hit again, he can’t, _he can’t do this_.

“Move out of the way or I’ll make you,” Cas tells John and Dean has never heard Cas’ voice like this. Cas’ voice, while deep and gravelly, is always filled with softness around Dean, around Sam and all their friends. Dean has never heard it twist into such quiet rage before, the calmness in it laid with nothing but threats and connotations that Dean hopes he won’t have to live up to.

He doesn’t know whether it’s Cas’ threat or the fact that his father is shocked at what he’s just done, but he must move aside because Cas is guiding Dean out of the house, keeping a hold of Dean tightly to his side. They stop at the front door and it takes Dean a minute to realise they’re stopping to put on their shoes. Thankfully, Dean only has to simply slip his feet in, no effort necessary. When they’re both wearing shoes, they’re off again and finally, _finally,_ out of the house.

“Let’s get into my car, okay?” Cas asks, all anger gone from his voice now, only soft worry and comforting left. Dean only nods as a reply, still shocked at the events, feeling strangely numb all of a sudden.

First, Cas helps Dean into the car, even going so far as to snapping his seatbelt shut. Dean lets him, shutting his eyes as dizziness overtakes him. He hasn’t been punched that hard before; sure, he’s been in a few fights at school but the other guys were sloppy with their punches and kicks, none of them were a middle aged guy who’d been in the army.

Cas turns the engine on quickly and says, voice shaking slightly, like he’s trying to hold it all in for Dean’s sake, “I’m just going to drive us a little away from your house,” he explains, “So we’re not near your…” Cas’ sentence fades away, like he doesn’t want to admit to having to need to drive away from Dean’s own father.

Dean shudders and opens his eyes, the curl in his stomach still there as he watches the road in front of him.

“Dean,” Cas murmurs, “Talk to me.”

Dean comes to a sudden thought and fumbles in his pocket, “I’ve just got to text Sammy to tell him to stay over at Bobby’s house tonight,” he unlocks his phone and it takes him two attempts to click on the right contact, “He can’t- can’t go home, not when dad’s in this mood,” he realises his hands are shaking but autocorrect covers the worst of his mistakes and the text looks perfectly normal and not like he’s just been hit in the face by his own dad. _Shit._

“Dean,” Cas says, putting the car to a stop.

Dean ignores him, “And let me just text Bobby to let him know that Sam is going to stay over,” he quickly sends a text, making sure he’s as elusive as possible. He doesn’t know how he’s going to tell Bobby what’s happened but he knows for sure he’s not going to do it over text.

“Dean,” Cas repeats and he sounds concerned, oh so very concerned.

“He probably won’t get it,” Dean babbles, because speaking seems to stop his mind from thinking, and speaking is going to stop Cas from saying anything too, “Uncle Bobby is shit with cell phones, doesn’t know how to work them at all, he-“

“Dean,” Cas reaches over and cups Dean’s cheek, gently tilting Dean’s head so Dean has no choice but to look him in the eye, “Let me see you.”

The urge to pull back and sprint out of the car is high, so very fucking high, but looking at Cas’ face calms Dean a little and helps him breathe. So he keeps looking at him as Cas inspects his face carefully, he watches Cas’ face even as it contorts into a wince as his thumb barely brushes over Dean’s cheek bone.

“Do you hurt anywhere else?” Cas asks, keeping his hand placed on Dean’s jaw, his other hand reaching over to entwine with Dean’s fingers.

Dean tightens the hold, gripping Cas’ hand as tightly as he can, afraid to ever let go, “Ribs,” Dean sniffs, “But nothing too bad.”

Cas nods at that and Dean watches as a flash of anger pierces Cas’ eyes, a flash that’s quickly masked with worry again and Dean would have missed it if he weren’t staring at Cas so intently. Right now, Cas is his anchor for keeping it all together and if Dean were to look away, he’d lose it all.

“Has he ever hit you before?” Cas asks, voice quiet but controlled, like he’s trying to stop himself from getting angry. Dean’s got a feeling that after this, Cas is going to be afraid of even shouting in Dean’s presence in case it upsets him.

“No,” Dean shakes his head and when Cas looks doubtful he repeats it, stronger this time, “No, Cas. I mean,” he half shrugs, keeping his gaze locked on Cas, “There were times when we had to stay away from him because he was in one of his moods or when he was drunk. And he’d shout and maybe throw things around the house but he’s never-“ Dean gulps, “He’s never done this before.”

Cas looks like he’s on the onset of tears, “I’m so sorry Dean.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” Dean brushes it aside because he _needs_ to, if he puts too much focus on it, he’s going to break, “I’m okay, it’s not a big deal.”

And truthfully, it isn’t a big deal, is it? So John hit him, so what? And it’s not like Dean’s completely innocent, he _had_ talked back to him. It’s not a big deal at all. Dean probably deserved it anyway.

Cas looks like he wants to argue at the sentence but he keeps his mouth shut, instead choosing to run a hand through Dean’s hair, keeping it light and soft. And weirdly, the barely there touches, the love behind those gestures is almost too much and Dean feels like he can’t breathe so he mutters, “Keep driving Cas.”

“To where?” Cas asks calmly.

“Anywhere,” Dean mumbles. Cas nods in agreement, starting the car again, but he keeps his hand wrapped around Dean’s, for which Dean is more than grateful for.

His phone pings and Dean unlocks it to see that Sam has text him, telling him that it’s all good and that he’ll see him at Bobby’s later on. Dean doesn’t miss the way Sam asks him whether he’s okay, one too many question marks for it to be a passing remark.

“Sam’s going to Bobby’s after he’s had dinner at his friends,” Dean tells Cas, texting Sam at the same time, telling him that he’s perfectly fine.

“Okay,” Castiel nods, squeezing Dean’s hand, looking very much like he doesn’t want to be driving and instead, wants to have Dean in his arms. Dean kind of wants that too but he’s too afraid to say it aloud, “Do you want to stay at my house tonight?” Cas offers.

Dean shakes his head vehemently, “No, you’ve got a big family and no offense,” he sinks into his seat, suddenly feeling tired all of a sudden, “But they stick their noses where they don’t belong and I don’t-“ he gulps, “I don’t want to deal with loads of questions right now. And let’s be honest, your parents aren’t gonna let me stay over anyway.”

Cas’ parents don’t hate Dean, it’s not like that but- well, they’re strict and they want nothing but the best for Cas. Dean had noticed them giving each other looks whenever Dean said something that wasn’t perfect, he’d saw how their eyebrows raise, like they couldn’t understand why Cas would choose someone like Dean when there were so many better people out there. And that right there, that is the least of what Dean needs to deal with right now.

“I could sneak you in, like we’ve done before,” Cas smiles briefly at the memories it brings him.

Dean forces a laugh, but it sounds so false that it makes him wince so he shuts his mouth and doesn’t bother anymore.

“Dean,” Cas asks, though he doesn’t push too hard, keeping his voice light rather than demanding, “Where do you want to go?”

Dean’s interrupted by his phone ringing and when he looks down its Bobby, “Shit,” he presses ignore quickly, dropping his phone to his lap like it’s burnt him. A few seconds later, he gets an alert to tell him that he’s got a new voicemail but he ignores that too, too afraid to hear what Bobby has to say.

“Who is it?” Cas’ shoulders tense.

“Bobby,” Dean sniffs and Cas relaxes, making Dean realise that perhaps Cas had assumed that it might have been his father trying to contact him. Yeah right, his dad isn’t going to bother trying to talk to him, probably not for a long while, maybe not ever.

“If I answer the phone, he’s gonna ask me what happened,” Dean explains, suddenly feeling ill and he’s not sure whether it’s because he was just pummelled in the face or it’s because he’s realising what’s just happened. Because the idea of telling Bobby what’s happened is too much. Because shit, it _is_ a big deal isn’t it? It’s an incredibly big deal because his dad has hit him and _oh god- oh god- oh god-_

“Cas, stop- stop the car, I’m gonna-“ he gasps. Cas manages to stop the car just in time for Dean to stumble out and throw up on the sidewalk. He empties out his stomach, leaning into the comfort of Cas’ hand on the small of his back. Once he’s done, he doesn’t feel any better, he feels even worse if that were even possible.

“Here,” Cas gently guides Dean’s face so he’s looking at him and he brings out a bundle of tissue from out of fucking nowhere to clean at Dean’s face, “Do you want some water?”

Dean nods, leaning back on his heels as he waits for Cas to come back from the car with a bottle of water. He takes it greedily, spitting some of it out to try and clean his mouth, “Can we-“ Dean swallows, feeling lightheaded, “Get away from the-“ he gestures to the mess he’s made on the floor.

“Are you going to be sick again?” Cas takes the water from Dean’s clasped hands.

“No.”

“Okay, shall we get back in the car?” Cas asks, wrapping an arm around Dean’s waist and Dean fights the urge to wince when it collides with his sore ribs.

They manage to get in the car without Dean throwing up again. Cas makes no effort to start up the car and instead puts his entire attention onto Dean, running his fingers across Dean’s knuckles, the other hand soothingly running through Dean’s hair.

“He nearly hit you Cas,” Dean whispers.

“It’s okay,” Cas brushes it aside.

“No, it’s not,” Dean says, voice hoarse, “My dad almost knocked you out because of me and it’s not-“ he shakes his head but stops when he gets a ringing in his head because of it, “That’s not okay Cas.”

”Dean,” Cas entwines their fingers together, “You don’t need to worry about me right now, okay?”

Dean feels tears start to fill his eyes as he murmurs, “I’m sorry Cas.”

Cas looks positively heartbroken, perhaps the most upset Dean has ever seen him before, “Dean, it’s okay,” he clambers over in the car, slotting next to Dean. Even though it’s a squeeze, he wraps his arms around Dean and pulls him as closely as possible, “You don’t need to apologise, it’s okay.”

Dean leans into the warmth, swallowing down the sobs that are threatening to wrack through his body. Dean’s phone pings again and he looks down to see that it’s a text from Bobby demanding him to go to his house _now,_ “Bobby wants me to go to his place.”

“Are you going to go there?” Cas asks quietly, resting his mouth against the top of Dean’s head.

“Yeah,” Dean decides, “Um, but later, when Sammy’s asleep. I don’t want Sam to deal with the shit fest of this. Better to go when he’s upstairs asleep so I can explain to Bobby what happened without him being there. I don’t want Sam involved in this,” he fidgets with his hands, tying them together.

“Sam is going to see you at some point Dean,” Cas says, though he’s obviously not saying it to try and upset Dean any further, “What are you going to tell him?”

Dean pushes himself more into Cas’ arms, “I’ll just tell him that I fell down the stairs or something.”

“Okay,” Cas agrees, pressing a kiss to the top of Dean’s head, “What do you want to do until Sam is asleep?”

“Can we just- just stay here?” Dean asks, voice small, “I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to stay here, stay here with you,” he grabs a hold of one of Cas’ arms that’s wrapped tightly around him, “Can we do that?”

“Of course we can,” Cas replies softly.

They only have to wait a few hours until the sun goes down and Dean knows Sam will be asleep. It’s a possibility that Sam will have wanted to stay awake until Dean got there, so Dean adds an extra hour onto the time, hoping that Bobby will force Sam to go to sleep seeing as it’s a school night. Cas sticks to Dean’s plan and is silent as he holds Dean, rocking him a little as he kisses Dean’s hair and behind his ear. Dean just shuts his eyes and tries to focus on the feeling of being with Cas, trying his hardest to push away everything else. It only works a little, but Cas’ strong arms help him as much as he can.

All of the calmness evaporates when Cas pulls up into Bobby’s drive. Cas turns to look at him expectantly, hand still entwined with Dean’s.

“Can you-“ Dean asks, feeling panic slowly start to seep into him, “Can you come in with me?”

“Of course,” Cas smiles comfortingly. Cas is supposed to have gone home hours ago though and Dean suddenly starts to worry that he might be causing yet even more problems. His parents are strict and Dean doesn’t know whether Cas has told them where he is and that he’s going to be late. It’s probably going to cause Cas’ parents to resent Dean even more if their son disappears for the night.

“What about-“ Dean stumbles on his words, “What about your parents?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve text them to let them know I might not be coming home tonight,” Cas replies and at Dean’s worried expression he adds, “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them what happened, just that there was an emergency.”

Dean nods, “O-Okay.”

“Come on,” Cas gets out of the car, holding out his hand for Dean. Dean grabs a hold of it and squeezes, feeling terrified at the next conversation he’s going to have.

“I love you,” Cas murmurs as they reach the front door.

Dean smiles weakly, “Yeah, love you too,” and that gives him the confidence to knock the door. After a beat, he drops Cas’ hand even though he wants to keep a hold of it and never let go. He has no idea how Bobby is going to react to everything and Dean has no fucking clue as to how he’s going to react to Dean dating a boy. If it’s anything like his dad, Dean is going to end up with no family apart from his little brother. And then what is he going to do?

He doesn’t have enough time to worry because the door snaps open and Bobby’s there. As soon as he opens the door, he has his mouth open to probably yell at Dean for going missing all night but as soon as his face settles on Dean and the growing bruise on his cheek, his face falls, “I’ll kill him,” he keeps the door open and paces to the sitting room, not waiting for Dean to follow “I’ll fucking kill him.” And Dean doesn’t quite know what to do with the fact that Bobby straight away guessed it was John.

Slowly, he walks into the house, Cas following him straight behind. They all settle onto the couches, Bobby in one, Cas and Dean sitting close to each other in the other. Dean feels the warmth of Cas next to him and his hand burns to reach over and entwine his fingers with Cas.

“You hurt bad?” Bobby leans forward in his seat, face a mask of his worry under his cap, “Need to go to the hospital?”

“No,” Dean laughs humourlessly, “Don’t be stupid.”

“Do I look like I’m trying to be stupid?” Bobby snaps and he stands up and returns with some antiseptic wipes. Castiel takes them himself, murmuring that he’ll do it. He twists his body slightly and slowly wipes at Dean’s cheek and Dean tries his hardest not to flinch. Cas mumbles an apology for hurting him but Dean shakes his head a response; they all know who’d hurt Dean and it’s not Cas.

“That’s it,” Bobby decides aloud, sitting heavily on the chair, “You and Sam are moving in here.”

“Bobby,” Dean says, unsure of how to even feel about that announcement.

“No,” Bobby shakes his head, “I’m not letting you live with him. This has gone far enough.”

Dean leans further into Cas and Cas drops his hand, finished with wiping at Dean’s cheek, “Dad’s-“ Dean gulps, feeling his chest tighten, “Dad’s not gonna like that.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about what he thinks!” Bobby retorts.

“He hit me once Bobby, it’s not a big deal,” Dean remarks, trying to dampen everything down.

“Not a big deal? Are you fucking kidding me boy?” Bobby swipes a weary hand down his face, “Once is too many damn times! And I know you wouldn’t be saying that if it was Sam he hit and not you.”

Just the thought of his father laying a hand on Sam makes Dean want to throw something, “I wouldn’t let him hit Sam. If he touched him, my dad wouldn’t be fucking breathing anymore!”

Bobby’s face softens and he looks tired, like this simple conversation has aged him ten years, “So Sam matters and you don’t?”

Dean opens his mouth and shuts it, unsure of how to even respond. Because Sam matters, he’s always the most important. But dammit, Dean matters too doesn’t he? He may not have always thought that but slowly he’s been beginning to see his own importance, see that he’s not just a big brother. Sure, he’s a damn good big brother but he’s more than that, and he’d finally been letting himself believe that, with Cas and with other people, and now- now this has happened with his dad and it’s like going right back to the start again.

“Why did he hit you?” Bobby prompts.

Dean stays silent.

“Alright,” Bobby turns to Cas, “Cas, why did he hit him?”

Cas doesn’t answer it but he taps at Dean’s hand, “Dean,” and instantly, Dean grabs a hold of it, pulling their joint hands to his lap. He’s holding so tightly he might be close to breaking his bones, not that Cas makes any noise of complaint seeing as he’s holding back just as tightly.

“Me and, um,” Dean feels like he’s about to choke or throw up, he doesn’t even know right now, “Me and Cas had the place to ourselves,” he squeezes Cas’ hand, “Sammy was out and I didn’t think dad was coming back until early morning but he-“ he shudders, unsure of whether it’s because of retelling the story or for the fact that he’s admitting to Bobby about him and Cas, probably a combination of the two, “He came back early. We wasn’t doing anything, not really,” Dean brings his shoulders in, almost in a protective stance, “we were just watching tv, but- but it was obvious that we were- we were,” Cas squeezes Dean’s hand, thumb brushing across Dean’s hand soothingly. Dean thinks about how much worse it could have been if his father had walked in only forty minutes earlier. He shudders as he wonders how many more bruises he would have had because of it and then instantly shuts the idea down, blocking it away.

Understanding washes over Bobby’s face, “And he hit you because of that?”

Dean holds onto the fact that Bobby hasn’t pulled a disgusted face, hasn’t turned him out yet. If Bobby hasn’t shouted at him yet, maybe he won’t. Maybe he won’t react as badly as his dad had.

“He exploded Bobby,” Dean shivers as he explains, because talking about it makes it all the more _real,_ “He- He tried to hit Cas.”

Bobby’s gaze snaps to Cas and he demands, voice gruff but concerned, “Did he hit you?”

“No, no,” Cas shakes his head, wrapping his other hand around their joint hands, enclosing their hands tightly together, “I’m- I’m fine.”

Dean bites the bottom of his lip because he can hear from Cas’ wavering voice that he’s far from fine, “And then I got angry too,” Dean presses his lips together tightly, “And he brought up Sam and he-“ he trails off, not knowing whether he can say it aloud just yet.

“He punched you,” Bobby finishes. Dean makes a noise of agreement, unsure of whether he can use his voice right now.

Bobby sighs, “If I thought for one second that he would go this far, I would have took you out of there so much sooner,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing at his eyes, “I should have done anyway.”

Something horrible coils in Dean’s stomach at the self-deprecating tone in Bobby’s voice, “Can we not play the blame game right now?”

Bobby looks at Dean for a moment before he nods, “Okay,” he glances at Cas, who’s stayed pretty much silent, leaving Dean and Bobby to it, “You two want something to eat?”

“I’m not very hungry,” Cas murmurs, keeping his hands tightly holding onto Dean.

“No,” Dean swallows, “Me neither.”

“Okay,” Bobby doesn’t try and force it, “Let’s all go to sleep and then tomorrow, we’ll sort everything out with clear heads.”

“I don’t want Sam to know,” Dean blurts.

Bobby pulls a confused face, “Dean-“

“I don’t want him to know Bobby,” Dean shakes his head, panic seizing him, “Please, just tell him that I fell down the stairs or something, I don’t want him to know what happened.”

And he doesn’t want Sam to know. If Dean is reacting this way, how is Sam going to react to it? Sure, Sam doesn’t exactly get on with their dad, he resents him more than anything and has always told Dean that he shouldn’t make excuses for him. But the idea of Sam knowing that their dad is capable of this? Dean thinks it isn’t fair for his fourteen year old brother to have that weighing on his shoulders.

“Okay,” Bobby nods tiredly, “We’ll figure it out tomorrow morning.”

“What-“ Cas speaks up, voice quiet, “What about if John comes here?”

“Well, I’ve got a shotgun that hasn’t been tested out yet,” Bobby replies and Dean nearly smiles at Cas’ bewildered expression, because Cas is right to be worried, Bobby isn’t joking. Dean knows that his uncle would use a gun to protect him and his brother if necessary.

“No,” Bobby adds, trying to soothe Cas’ worries, “He’s not dumb enough to come here. He’ll be on the couch sobering up and feeling sorry for himself. Don’t worry kid, you’re safe here.”

Dean chooses not to correct Bobby’s assumption that John had hit him good and sober. He’s not stupid, he knows that’ll make everything so much worse. Being drunk isn’t an excuse but Bobby probably thinks that he’d only be capable of doing this to Dean while he was bladdered, if he found out that he’d done it while sober? Dean doesn’t know how terrible everything would become then. No, it’s best to keep it quiet, at least for tonight anyway. Dean’s too tired to do anymore explaining right now.

“You should try and get some sleep,” Bobby slaps his thighs and stands up, groaning at his old limbs cracking.

“Wait,” Dean exclaims, “Don’t you care?”

Bobby narrows his eyes at him, clearly confused, “Care about what?”

“Me and Cas,” Dean gestures to Cas with their joint hands, Dean’s hand trembling under Cas’ steady ones, “I’ve just told you that I’m dating a guy.”

Bobby smiles and huffs a little, “Son, I figured out you two were dating probably before you’d figured it out yourself.”

Dean goes to speak but he doesn’t have any words. While Cas had hung around Bobby’s house a lot, it had all been before Cas and Dean had been dating, when they’d been nothing but just good friends. When they’d finally gotten together, their visits to Bobby’s had dwindled, quite simply on the count that Dean would have had trouble not having his hands on Cas in some way while they were sitting there (it was hard to stay away from Cas when they were in the same room, it was like he was a damn magnet).

“The first time I saw you two together, I knew,” Bobby rolls his eyes in amusement, “You never take your eyes off each other, it’d be sickening if it wasn’t so damn cute.”

Speechless, Dean just sits there dumbly, not quite knowing what to say.

“Dean,” Bobby adds, clearly realising that Dean has forgotten how to speak, “I don’t care as long as he treats you well, he treat you well?” he nods his way to Cas. Dean nods in agreement, “And does Dean treat you well Cas?”

“Very much so,” Cas says and Dean can hear the smile in his voice.

“Then I’m happy for you both. Cas, you want to stay over tonight?”

Dean looks over at Cas who seems surprised at the question, “I- If I’m not a burden.”

Bobby points at the sofa they’re sitting on, “You two can sleep on the couch, you know how to pull it out to make a bed Dean. It’s more room than Dean’s bed upstairs. And you’ll get more privacy down here without Sam snoring next to you on the next bed,” he glares at Dean, “Not that that means you can get up to any funny business under my roof, you can save that for when you’re at someone’s dodgy party or something.”

And suddenly everything is too much. The fact that a few hours ago his own father punched him because he’s in love with a boy, the fact that Cas had nearly been hit because of him and now, Bobby, Bobby’s perfectly fine with Dean being with Cas, is _accepting_ of it. He’s not going to call him disgusting or try and blame Cas for swaying Dean. He’s not going to hit him or tell him that he shouldn’t do it in front of Sam. He’s not going to stop loving him because of it.

Dean breaks into a sob, instantly dropping Cas’ hand so he can instead bundle his arms around Cas’ neck, burrowing his face against Cas collar bone as a gut wrenching sob wracks through him. Cas holds him as tightly as possible, one arm around his waist, the other hand ravelling in Dean’s hair. Dean clutches him even tighter, uncaring that he’s staining Cas’ t-shirt with tears and probably snot; he just needs to be next to Cas, to be held by him.

He hears Bobby sigh, “I’ll leave you two boys alone,” he ruffles Dean’s hair as he goes, “It’s gonna be alright Dean, we’re gonna make it alright.”

Dean nods, staying enclosed in Cas’ arms, still crying because apparently he can’t stop now that he’s started. He hears the door shut behind them and still, Dean stays in Cas’ arms, shutting his eyes and listening to Cas’ thudding heart beat under his t-shirt.

“I’m right here Dean,” Cas murmurs after a while and Dean can feel the rumble of his chest and throat as he speaks. Dean only nods again, desperate to stop himself from crying because he can’t anymore, it hurts to. He leans out a little so he can see Cas’ face, surprised to see that Cas’ eyes have welled up too. It isn’t really a surprise though, Dean thinks tiredly, Cas has had to deal with all the shit he’s had to deal with today and while he didn’t get hit and it wasn’t his father treating them like that, Dean knows that Cas cares about him so much that the fact that Dean is hurting, makes Cas hurt too.

“I love you so much,” Cas murmurs, wiping away Dean’s tears with a gentle thumb.

Dean smiles tiredly through wet eyes, “Love you too.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” Cas adds, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth. It’s their first kiss since the mess of Dean’s dad and Dean seeks Cas’ mouth for more, desperately slotting their mouths together to remind him that Cas is here with him, that they’ll get through this, that Cas is still here.

“Everything-“ Dean swallows heavily, listening to the click of his throat, “Everything’s gonna change now, it’s all gonna get fucked up.”

“Not everything,” Cas cups his face and smiles warmly, “Some things will still be the same. You’ll still have your brother and Bobby and your friends,” he presses their foreheads together, “You’ll still have me.”

“No matter what?” Dean asks quietly, scared of the answer.

Cas brushes their lips together and promises, “No matter what.”

And Dean believes him.


End file.
